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PAINTING THE IMPOSSIBLE

From the studio · In Akiane's own words

Painting the impossible.

From a flooded shack at the edge of a cornfield to the vision that took me 19 years to paint…

By Akiane Kramarik · 14 min read
Akiane at her easel adding final strokes to the finished portrait
At the easel — the final strokes.
01 · Northern Illinois · 1994

The edge of a cornfield.

In the year 1994, my family was living in a tiny shack that was constantly flooded. Our home was settled at the edge of a cornfield, not too far away from a huge nuclear power plant in Northern Illinois.

Two cooling towers of a nuclear power plant beyond a field
Not too far from home — the power plant on the horizon of the cornfield.

My father came from the ghettos of Chicago, and my mother, an immigrant from Lithuania, who against all odds escaped the Soviet regime. She delivered me at home by herself without assistance from midwives nor any doctors, just like my two older brothers. I was named Akiane.

Newborn Akiane swaddled on a sheepskin on a stained floor
Born at home, without midwives or doctors.
Baby Akiane looking into the camera
Akiane, in her first year.

We slept and played on moldy floors. There was no kitchen, barely any furniture. And we made our own toys and games, and we built our own school.

As kids, we would often walk through a remote village with mom in hopes of finding friends, but one door after another was shut in front of us. Outside of the house, we felt no safety. One neighbor was murdered. Another tried shooting our dog. Yet another threatened us because we did not attend a church. The next door neighbor purposely burned trash close to our shack causing fires we were forced to extinguish.

When our drinking water was poisoned, my father fell deathly ill, and we had no money for doctors.

Toddler Akiane resting her hand on the head of someone asleep in bed
Akiane watching over her sick father.

While my mother looked for different ways to support our family, my older brothers watched over me and took care of me. Day and night.

We walked in two feet high snow to different towns selling food door to door. Within a year, the business grew and so did I.

02 · Missouri

My best memories.

My dad's health slowly began improving, and my mother's business became successful. I moved into a new home in Missouri, a massive 10,000 square foot Frank Lloyd Wright mansion. My best memories came from living there.

Young Akiane hugging her mother outside, flowering trees behind
With her mother in her new home.

For the first time, we rode bicycles. We fished in our lake, swam in our indoor pool. From morning to night, we created our own music. We prepared our own meals. There was no TV or radio in the house.

Toddler Akiane playing a harmonica
From morning to night, our own music.
Akiane laughing beside one of her older brothers in an armchair
Her older brothers — best friends and mentors.

Since I had no relatives or friends nearby, my older brothers were my best friends and mentors. And my parents, my real role models.

03 · Age four

Visions of heaven.

Around age four, I started experiencing intense dreams and visions of heaven. My mother was an atheist, yet she was the only one who listened to me for hours on end and believed what I was describing were my real experiences.

Young Akiane sitting beneath a tree, chin resting on her hand, looking away
Around age four, when the visions began.

I'd never been drawn to read, but I sketched everything I remembered from my dreams and visions, including two celestial beings who were especially close to me. I drew one of them, my angel. But each time I tried sketching the second face from memory, it kept fading away.

A small hand drawing a bird in pencil
She sketched everything she remembered.
Young Akiane in a polka-dot dress beneath her early portrait drawings on the wall
Early portraits on the wall at home.

As soon as my dad's health improved, my mother surprised everyone by suddenly quitting the business and putting her house on the market. She wanted to spend more time with us, especially me because she started believing that the heaven I had seen was real.

One spring day when I was around five years old, something unexplainable happened. I disappeared.

Hundreds of vehicles in our small town were stopped for inspection, but nobody could find me. It was as if I dropped off the radar somehow undetectable. My photo was dispatched throughout all local agencies. After many long hours of searching, I reappeared in the midst of numerous eyewitnesses. Neither the officers nor my family could comprehend what had really happened, but I did.

“The place I had been was not here on earth.”
Akiane leaning over a table, drawing in color pastels
Color pastels, sometimes through the night.

After that mysterious incident, I couldn't stop drawing in color pastels and would sometimes stay awake throughout the night sketching. During the day, I would feel very tired and weak. Occasionally, I participated in art fairs and public art competitions, but I only felt discouraged.

I even briefly attended a public school nearby. One of the teachers was constantly angry with me because I kept correcting all the lines in the coloring books. I thought the lines were all wrong.

Young Akiane with a fringe, looking at the camera
The year the visions went quiet.

Around the same time, my visions disappeared. I lost inspiration to do art altogether.

04 · Colorado · Idaho

Four in the morning.

When my third brother Ilia was born at home, my family was on the brink of bankruptcy, and we had to move again.

Akiane in a living room beside her baby brother
With her little brother, Ilia.
Akiane smiling, holding a fluffy puppy
Small joys between the moves.

On 09/11/2001, we found a small house to rent in Colorado. There was not a day living in those Rocky Mountains without some sort of accident or life threatening sickness in our family. I tried to get back into art, but I just couldn't. It was writing poetry that became my main focus.

Soon, our whole family decided to move again because my dad got a job in Idaho. At age eight, I began homeschooling myself, and it was a decision my family supported. My vivid vision suddenly returned and so did my passion for art.

Young Akiane painting a large face in purples and blues
Oils and acrylics, at age eight.
Akiane finishing a large pink flower painting at her easel
A bloom, nearly finished.

I fell in love with oils and acrylics. And every day, I would wake up at four in the morning to paint and learn from my own mistakes.

05 · Age eight · Prince of Peace

The Carpenter.

One of my earliest visions kept on returning to my mind, but I knew it was impossible for me to paint it. I wanted to try anyway. For many months, I searched everywhere looking for the right face. I somehow knew I could not find it on my own.

So one morning, I decided to pray the whole day that a model would be brought right to our front door. The very next day at noon, the doorbell rang. One of our acquaintances stopped by to introduce her friend to me. She thought that maybe I would find his features suitable for my art.

Standing almost seven feet tall, a stranger not only closely resembled one of my recurrent memories of Jesus, but he was a real carpenter. I was speechless and humbled.

Akiane painting the first blocks of the face, her pencil sketch on an easel beside her
The sketch on the easel; the face begins on the canvas.
Akiane painting the hair around the face
The hair and the shadow take shape.
Akiane working on the eye, the background turning dark
Working the eyes, by hand.
Akiane painting the lips, the robe roughed in
The robe appears.
Young Akiane on a stool painting the collar of the nearly finished portrait
Nearly there.
“Forty hours felt like forty years.”

After forty hours of painting, I couldn't move a finger. There was still so much left to paint, but I was too drained to go on, and I had to stop.

Young Akiane seated on a stool beside the finished Prince of Peace
Prince of Peace · painted at age eight.

We shipped the original to one art agent for an exhibition, but he decided to steal the portrait. Unexpectedly, Jesus became a hostage. The painting was later sold for virtually nothing. For many years, I was not able to see my original Prince of Peace again, only the photographs and reproductions.

Outside of my family circle, no one seemed to care about my art. Some even suggested burning all my paintings and writings. It was after many months of malicious reactions from skeptics and critics, and an expensive separation from my agent that my story reached media.

At age nine, I received an invitation to be a guest on the Oprah Winfrey show. In a flash, my world changed — thanks to hundreds of television and radio interviews and appearances in art shows. By age 10, my first book unexpectedly became a bestseller. My painted messages had reached millions of people around the globe and had raised funds for charities.

Over the years, I painted different periods in Jesus' life. But my grief over the loss of my favorite portrait never lessened. For the next twelve years, God took me on an extraordinary journey around the world to paint true life stories.

Akiane seated beneath her painting Father Forgive Them
Finishing Father Forgive Them.
Akiane at age ten studying her painting Jesus, The Missing Years
Jesus, The Missing Years · age ten.
Akiane at age eleven seated before her painting of a mother holding her child
Age eleven.
Akiane painting On My Knees, a child in a blue robe at prayer
On My Knees · age eleven.

Not too long after my fourth brother, Aurelius, was born, while we were living in Australia, unexpectedly, I discovered the location of the original Prince of Peace painting. It had been hidden out of sight, all wrapped up and locked away in a vault for the past twelve years. The owner was not willing to reveal it or sell it to anyone.

06 · Age twenty-two · Illinois

The farm and the coin.

When I turned 22, I moved to a small farm in the countryside close to Chicago, Illinois. The founder of one of the top coin minting companies in the world flew out to see me. He invited me to collaborate on the Prince of Peace image that would be minted on a gold coin. It was an awkward assignment, but I agreed.

Akiane against the tree, surrounded by chickens and goats
Gloved fingers holding a gold coin
A new project.
07 · The sketch

The pencil and the prayer.

In preparation for the complicated minting process, I was asked to outline the face I'd painted at age eight.

Akiane bent close over a lit drafting table, drawing a face in pencil

As I was accentuating the lines of the new sketch, I became more and more frustrated because the sketch for minting a coin was supposed to be very simple. Oddly, the more I pressed the pencil down, the more details revealed themselves. And the more I saw, the more uncomfortable I felt.

Close-up of a hand pressing a pencil to paper
Close-up of a detailed pencil drawing of a bearded face

I actually started wondering why I was seeing so many details, and why I was hearing a new message.

Akiane at the lamp-lit drafting table, hand pressed to her forehead

So I prayed about what to do next. And was blown away by the unexpected answer.

Akiane in silhouette holding a print of Prince of Peace under a lamp
Only the reproductions remained.
Akiane in silhouette before a glowing blank canvas
And a blank canvas, waiting.
08 · A thousand hours

The veil.

Despite all of my doubts, I took out a linen canvas and started painting my vision. I knew it was going to be an enormous challenge because all I could see was half of the image. I had no idea when the complete face would be revealed or how long the fine details would remain in my sight.

Akiane laying in the first dark strokes on a white canvas with penciled eyes
Linen, pencil, the first dark stroke.
The underpainting of a face, light side only, with Akiane painting
Only half of the image could be seen.

On Christmas Eve, I woke up from a nightmare that my portrait got completely destroyed. I rushed to my studio and what I noticed alarmed me. The shadow side was lifeless. It was as if there was a mysterious veil covering half of the face, stopping me from painting any further.

Akiane painting the eye of the portrait, the shadow side unresolved

No matter how much I tried removing the veil or painting over it, I just couldn't do it. Many weeks passed by, but there was still no life in the shadow. I was devastated. I could not eat or sleep. I could not even talk with anyone for a month.

The portrait partly covered by taped paper towels as Akiane paints the lower face
A hand lifting a sheet of paper towel from the canvas at night

All my efforts to finish the painting were futile. I had given everything I had to this painting, but it still wasn't enough. I was painting the impossible. I was losing hope, and I was about to abandon the divine commission.

Akiane seen through a window, seated before her easel under a lamp
Round the clock, in the studio.

After a thousand hours of this relentless battle, one morning something miraculous happened. For a very brief time, I got to see the full vision. I began working round the clock until finally, the veil disappeared and the portrait came to life.

All these years, God was waiting for me to grow so I could fully understand and paint the most powerful message to mankind.

The finished portrait
The finished portrait of Jesus, painted by Akiane at age twenty-two
Painted at age twenty-two — after a thousand hours, the veil lifted.
The message of unwavering faith, unconditional love, and eternal life.
— Akiane
Akiane standing beside the finished portrait hanging on the wall
Akiane with the finished portrait.
The Faith Collection

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